Hi there, I adopted Teddy two months ago after he was retired as a military working dog at the age of 5. It has been absolutely fantastic until about four days ago when he started growling at my 6 year old daughter. The first incident was when he was chilling out in the living room when she decided it would be a good idea to come and lay on top of him. Obviously, I got her off him as quickly as I could but not before he got a tad annoyed, and I think a little hurt. He has now been very wary of her ever since, head down and side glancing at her whenever she is around. I don't blame him and she doesn't understand what she has done wrong and why her new friend won't play with her anymore. Can anyone suggest any ways to repair their relationship? I'm struggling with the fact that he appears to be scared of her now as he has no problem at all with other children. I have tried getting her to give him treats, feed him his dinner and breakfast, I pinned him down in a submissive way last time but I don't want to discourage growling if it's warranted and have him going straight to bite... Please help
Hello and welcome to the forum. Firstly, please stop pinning your dog down immediately. It will only make things exponentially worse. You will make him afraid and MORE likely to bite, not less. Get out of your head any thoughts of the dominance model - it is old hat and has been disproven time and again, so is completely unnecessary, not to mention counterproductive. Also, you're right to say that your dog should be allowed to growl. It is his warning that he is seriously unhappy with the situation he is in. He is simply communicating to you that he doesn't like what is happening and needs to have the situation resolved before he is forced to take it to the next level. Children and dogs need to be supervised very strictly all the time. Your daughter lying on him and, as you said, maybe hurting him, should not be allowed to be repeated. Dogs do not like children poking them, prodding them, lying on them. Some may tolerate it better than others, but believe me, they are not happy about it. Have a look at this website and the videos on it to teach yourself, and your daughter, how best she should be handling him. It has little songs for the kids to learn. It may also teach you a little about the body language your dog is exhibiting. http://stopthe77.com/ For now, I would say keep your daughter and dog apart. Then, slowly reintroduce them, under strict supervision. Let her stroke his back - never his head. At the first signs of his discomfort or stress, remove your daughter. All the time, speak in a happy, calm voice to the dog and reward him with treats for staying calm. But keep these sessions short - a couple of minutes max. Some damage has obviously been done to the relationship and it has severely dented his trust in your daughter - and with your pinning him down, maybe in you too. Try to understand what he is trying to tell you, respect his boundaries, and you should be able to slowly rebuild all your relationships.
Hello, and a very warm welcome to the forum. I'm sure this is all very worrying for you. Fiona is right - children hurting dogs is asking for trouble, and rather than say you've got a growler, I'd say you've got a dog that thankfully didn't hurt your daughter when she hurt time. Good boy, Teddy. And then he got pinned down for being good, and didn't hurt you either. Double good boy Teddy. I love the video that Fiona posted the link to, it's well worth watching. In terms of your question, I think if I had an older rescue dog and small child that the dog is now obviously afraid to be around, I'd get some professional help. See if your vet can recommend a good dog behaviourist - do take care to make sure you see someone experienced and well qualified, as there are all sorts out there. The very best of luck with it. Do let us know how you get on.
Hi there and welcome to the forum. I second julie's advice on getting some help from a behaviourist. It can take time to rebuild a dog's confidence but its great that you are not blaming the dog and are aware that you need to build an association between your daughter and 'good things'. This might need to be done at quite some distance for a while. Letting him go to her, rather than the other way around.
Welcome to the Forum, some great advice above. I hope you get the relationship repaired soon with professional, help as suggested. it sounds as if Teddy has reacted well so far.
You should be able to, what happens when you try? Are you using the quote button next to the edit button at the bottom of the post?
Not sure why it wouldn't let me reply but never mind. Thank you for all of the advice. It's hard to know what to do in these situations as everywhere you look you have different advice (hence the submission actions). My relationship with Teddy is as strong as ever, it's his relationship with my little girl I'm concerned about. I've just spoken to my vet who has suggested that I try a pheromone spray which calms him down when he is around her. Have any of you had any experience with this???
I know, there is so much conflicting advice around, it is seriously scary. The stuff here on the Labrador site is very reliable though. I really would not be trying to deal with this with a pheromone spray. That doesn't sound at all sensible to me. It probably won't do any harm, but it's not really a serious way to tackle a fearful dog. There are some links to associations for behaviourists on the RSPCA's web site. I'm afraid I don't know much about these organisations though. I would hope if the RSPCA is referring people to them they are well respected. I hope, anyway. http://www.rspca.org.uk/adviceandwelfare/pets/general/findabehaviourist
Problem is that I live in Germany at the minute so when I pick up my spray I will ask for the number of a reputable behaviourist
I hope you find one, Karen lives in Germany (one of the other moderators) she might know of the right associations there.
Welcome to the forum, and well done for both adopting an older dog, and asking for help. You already have good advice written above, but please seek professional help, from a qualified and trusted animal behaviorist. By that, I mean there is no substitute for seeing the dog 'in the flesh', and helping you identify the warning signs (There are MANY of them - growling is only one) and what to do about it when they are presented. It's worth noting some things seem counter-intuitive (To me at least) - and things have moved on incredibly in the past ten or so years. We have become familiar with several trainers over the last year, and would be happy to provide recommendations if you're in our part of the UK. If you've only had the dog two months, there could still be further traits to identify - depending on it's history (We were still finding new things with Casper 3 months after adoption). We are currently fostering another dog where the signs were present - but sadly only identified in hindsight by the owners, after their daughter had been bitten in almost exactly the scenario you opened this topic with. The daughter was slightly injured, but this devoted dog needed to be removed from the loving family he has known for 5 years. Please get that help - there will be a small cost, but far better that, than the consequent re-homing challenges or worse should a bite take place.
Hello there,I'm just reading through your thread and you've already had some very good,accurate and honest advice. I didn't want to just pass on through without saying hi and Welcome.You are right,there is a lot of conflicting advice when you start to read up on all things 'dog' .The Forum Is a really great place to bring your questions and have them discussed in a friendly respectful way.Im glad you've found us and please keep in touch while you are working through this issue Best wishes Angela
hi there, sorry to hear about your issues and worries. Can I ask what organization you got Teddy from? Was it the U.S. army? If so, do they have anyone they can recommend as a behaviourist? I would imagine retired military dogs have their own special issues. But first things first, keep your daughter and Teddy under close supervision, take it slowly and don't allow them to be alone together. Teddy will need time before he feels safe around her again. If you let me know what area of Germany you are in, maybe I can find an organization that could help with a behaviorist. Is teddy a labrador? Was there any special reason he was retired at five, health for instance?
It was British Army and he was retired due to the Army having more than they needed now that we have pulled out of Afghan. They have retired the ones who have been out there most (5 times for Teddy) and those who have been involved in the most incidents (Judging by the kink in his tail and scars, he has had quite a few) we got him to help with my wife's OCD, my daughters Autism and my PTSD (Quite the family...) and he has worked wonders. I'm currently in the area of Hannover but I will be moving down to Paderborn in August, if you know any behaviourists in these areas I would be grateful for a steer.
Sounds like you have all been through the mill scratch. Welcome to the forum Teddy may well have some achey bits given his CV. Lilly is just a pet who has two dodgy hips thanks to hip dysplasia and she would also growl if her space is invaded. For example if she is on her bed and my daughter (who is 16) goes down for a cuddle. So for us, this is normal behaviour and we respect her space. Once you have built up your relationship and you all learn the rules then I suspect things will be fine. It's difficult enough to work out why dogsbehave one way or another even if you have had them from puppy good let alone if they are rescues or re homed. A behaviouris would help for sure. And even with the friendliest pet dogs you need to supervise with children. Hope you stick around with us. There are folk with a load of experience on here. Not a substitute for an expert seeing your dog though. Jac x
Welcome to the forum and well done Teddy on serving your country so many times, you clearly deserve a loving new home. We are Hattie 7 years and our rescue boy Charlie 4 years. I hope you can find some help with a good behaviourist in your area to rebuild the relationship with Teddy and you daughter. I wish you luck and hope that Teddy can help you family. I have a son with High Functioning Autism so I understand the challenges. Keep in touch with us and we will help whenever you need us. Helen xx
Minor breakthrough today, Tate had some friends round today and hurt herself. Teddy was straight over there slobbering all over her and checking she was okay. I'm not so naive to think that this is it and problem solved but it is refreshing to see that he still cares about her. Still gonna get a pro involved...
Wow, what an amazing dog you have there! Dogs are wonderful creatures, very resilient and so accepting of the most difficult of situations. But we always have to remember that each of them have their own personalities, and in the case of rescue/re-homed dogs, they have come with a history and experiences we know absolutely nothing about. Our dog was rehomed with us when he was around 10 months old, and we have struggled a bit with some issues with him, have overcome many of them, and others are a work in progress. I would second the advice to have a behaviourist look at him in the context of your family, an expert eye will be a great help. You've only had him for a couple months, he is still trying to find his feet with you, and in some ways he is likely not yet completely relaxed with you all. Our dog didn't really settle down until he had been with us for about 6 months, until then he hadn't quite felt confident enough in himself and in his new circumstances to truly relax. It was a marked change in him. So I would say to recognize that there are still hurdles to overcome, likely. Also I would throw just a tiny word of advice to try not to have too much rest on this dog in terms of helping with the various issues you all are coping with. He is not a trained service dog, and he might have some issues of his own that will need to be worked through. I would hate for you to have too high expectations for him at this point, best to just accept him as a new member of the family for you to love. Please don't think I'm trying to be harsh or that I don't think Teddy might not be a wonderful companion to you all, I'm just saying that he needs to be able to be who he IS first, rather than what you expect him to be.
