i know that some of you are probably disgusted with the way the recent adoption ended up, and we are quite literally heartbroken. we have been going over this all night and this morning. what did we do wrong? could we have made it better with a crate? for some reason this never crossed our minds. i was concerned about the cat aggression and now we think that maybe keeping her in a crate until everyone is settled could have made a huge difference. ???
Re: would a crate have made a difference? Please don't beat yourselves up, some things were not meant to be. You did your best at the time - nobody cam do more. The dogs didn't get on - this happens. Maybe next time adopt from nearer to home and find a dog which your present dog gets on with, with longer test periods and try out days? But don't blame yourself - a crate may have worked or it may have simply prolonged the problem 'till you realised they still wouldn't get on.
Re: would a crate have made a difference? I don't think a crate would've helped in any way, to be honest, so definitely don't feel regret on that front. A crate is for overnight confinement, or for fairly short periods during the day. A dog needs to be acclimatised to a crate (so they see it as a safe, positive place) and this takes time.
Re: would a crate have made a difference? Crates are really for puppies. Unless a dog is used to being one I think it would be distressing to a adult dog.
Re: would a crate have made a difference? I'm sorry,Tami I'm too out of my depth on this one to be giving any practical advice. Dexter is our first dog,we are a one dog household and I haven't any experience of fostering ,indeed even how the process works .I will definately consider fostering and adopting an older dog but not until we are away from the Middle East and I don't think in Dexters lifetime ( :'( I literally tear up even writing that ???)your adoption hasn't concluded in the way everyone hoped but the mechanics of the situation has thrown up many aspects for people to think on Best wishes Angela
Re: would a crate have made a difference? Oh Tami, I don't think any of us are judging you at all for how things have turned out. You gave it your best shot and no one can ask any more than that. You had to do what was right for both the dogs, cats and yourselves in the long term and if the situation was stressing you out, the animals would have picked up on it also, jeopardising the chances of happily settling together. Personally I don't think a crate would have helped the situation, I think you would have ended up with whichever dog was in the crate being so frustrated that any positive progress made would become undone. I agree a rescue closer to home might be a better option as you have more options for introducing the two dogs - you can take your own dog there for meet ups, in most cases as often as you like. And some offer day trials so you can do several of those to decide if the dog is right in your home environment. You will also have the benefit of the kennel staff and/or behaviourist if they have one to supervise the introduction and help if there are any problems.
Re: would a crate have made a difference? Due to family circumstances I once had rescue a large, collie cross into my 1 cat household. This is what I did. I rubbed my hands all over Alice the dog, then all over Gemma the cat, then back over Alice's muzzzle. I kept up this procedure for several days, but didn't let them in the same room. Next, with lead on Alice and great trepidation I let them in the same room. Nothing happened . A few days later the lead came off and still all was calm. About a fortnight after Alice moved in I was sat in the Dining Room with Alice at my feet. Gemma peered round the door, then walk very slowly, took her about 10 minutes (I don't live in a baronial hall) to walk round the perimeter of the room. She got to the door, her back arched and she spat, it was like a Tom and Gerry cartoon, Then she scarpered. And that was it. They lived companionably together for several years. If they passed as one was coming in from the outside world they'd touch noses as if to say 'what is it like outside'.
Re: would a crate have made a difference? Please don't beat yourself up about what happened. I agree with what Lauren (Penny+me) has said in terms of adopting closer to home where you can have visits with your dog and have day trials. I'm sure doing it that way would really help. Keep your chin up
Re: would a crate have made a difference? Oh you're doing a 'me-ism' here. I always go over stuff and try to find every which way to blame myself that i can. when other people do it though i can see how bad it is for them. you tried, it didn't go to plan, you put your existing animals before the new one, you made a decision and now you need to accept it and not hate yourself for it. I haven't read anything here which makes me think that people are disgusted with you. It's no wonder that you're heartbroken and i do hope that a bit of time will help you to see the decision was the right thing for you and yours, or else you wouldn't have made it. the advice about trials sounds very sensible. most rescues do test your existing dog with the new dog first don't they? my knowledge of rescue is very low but i'm sure i've seen it on tv with battersea.
Re: would a crate have made a difference? Far, far better that you decided it wasn't right, than to have kept the dog and all of you, including new dog, would have been miserable, upset and tense.
